I have always struggled with Saturdays

This piece was written, well really, I have thought about this since I had a conversation with my English teacher in year 10 (or 11). She asked me, ‘what are you up to at the weekend?’. I answered ‘ I really hate weekends, I never no what to do'. I look forward to Monday already. She gave me the weirdest of looks. The kinda look you’d hold off as a teacher to keep the professional face, but she broke.

Weekends have usually been a dread for me. The pressure to make lots of plans. And if they fall through you feel alone. If you don’t plan, it makes you feel alone. I get nervous with no routine. I know it might not resonate with those who work tirelessly in 9-5 jobs and crave the weekend buzz of gallivanting adventures or edge closer to being horizontal for the whole 2 days.

no decision sounds inviting? I hate how empty the days can be. The pressure to make sure you have something to do otherwise it feels like a waste. It’s a very overwhelming feeling to me. Not even the ‘nice things’ sound that great. Overcrowded shops. Impatiently waiting to find a seat in a cafe. babies cry louder and seem to be everywhere? I swear they don’t exist monday to friday. I fall asleep at 2 and wake up at 5 feeling the day has gone and might as well wake up for sunday.

The dread. The waking up saturday morning empty dread of the day. I see the sunlight through the curtains and ache the feeling inside.

I am thankful when a friend messages me for a coffee catch-up on sunday. Having the lie-in can feel nice, making the time to make pancakes feel welcomed. But Saturdays, you are a stressful little day. One of you a week feels like if I don’t grab you by both hands then it’s so far away till I see you again. We get 2 mondays, 1 tuesdays, 0 wednesdays and 2 fridays! So is one saturday really enough?

Anyway, have a happy or unhappy saturday.