so this is what the 20s are about

People will know this about me, I am not so sure where I am right now. I face the everyday wake up of writing articles and researching for what? To follow a career path that I am deeply unsure if it’s me. waking up because I feel I ought to wake up and care about this. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that I am so unaware of what makes me happy. The 20s, so everyone keeps harping on about is to be unsure. Well that sucks for me. Maybe some people enjoy reinvention, constantly enjoying another new chapter of something fresh. To see if you sink or swim with a new job or life focus. I hate it. I love being ‘sure’ of myself. The feeling of the skin you wear is covered in a glowy energy of self assurance is what I long for. Right now, it feels I am rubbing on sandpaper to scrub away the dry skin of another unsure version that is growing old and no longer feels like breathing a life.

This is the 20s though. This is exactly what its for. Well I refute this. It passively causes aggression to my everyday wake up. Is this me? Do I enjoy this right now? Is there something different? Should I risk it? Should I just carry on because it’s easy? Maybe I’ll grow into loving it? Maybe.

Patience right? Enjoy the journey? Find who you are? I hear it all. And maybe soon I’ll feel it too.

It’s hard to wait around. My ability to want to know comes from the autism that likes predicability. I like to see the path I am stepping on. My yellow brick road is golden to follow because it is taking me on a quest with the right people and hopefully the right result I want.

so this is the 20s right?