the wanderlust soul

Hi all,

I haven’t really been sure where I have been mentally. Pandemic an all, it’s okay to assume we are all feeling slightly lost, unsure, confused, empty and overall a sense of freaking out. I know I speak for the many of graduates/lost jobs that moving forward is entirely impossible and feels so distance. Not even a middle ground or a drinking point mid way to rest. It’s a all of nothing progress right now, and for me… that’s been a nothing movement.

I have been drawn to progress with my social skills and seeking meeting other souls (social distanced if we can!). Yet, I’ve used the moments to be able to explore about myself and what other people have suggested I could do. Sometimes it’s felt like careers advice! But I am always happy to hear more ideas and inspiration that I may not have considered before.

I desire a change. I know that in the current position (not globally but personally) I am craving something completely different. Be thrown a 180 degrees change. I have found that education provides stability, as it should do. I guess now as a graduate, without a job, I feel completely disorientated in life. So I know I can gage some control by going completely out of control by travelling and finding a lust for life.

I have never been someone to be drawn towards chaos and complexity of citations. Travel and not having a plan is something alien abnormal, and yet, here I am, making sure that is exactly something I get within the next couple months. It might be the true ‘find yourself’ moment.

2020 has been unpredictable and sometimes a field of excuses for problems to occur. All the control was taken away but more importantly we had responsibility to protect life and society. I found that idea of power thrown on public far too stressful and it wasn’t something I was ready to do. We have had a sense of duty, now I want to focus on me. I will still act responsible within COVID-19 situation. Yet I am going to now not let that stop me from finding and running forward now in movement. I will be respectful, but in a greater capacity of staying at home. Home hasn’t helped me heal. It;s provided a safe house. But things in safe houses become only safe and protected and I can’t feel more in that environment.

I wanted to share the thoughts and ideas I was having in this current moment @ 8:13pm 16th August. This is me and how I am feeling. This could change, that’s fine. I feel calm and I know all power is within me. I love that feeling if I want change I can either book a flight, search google, text a friend, ask mom for help. That is my privilege I am honest to share I have. So really, my position is a rather comfortable one, because I can take myself into any direction because I have support and comforts from others in my community to fall back on. I am not alone in my future, merely I only feel alone in that It’s all my choice and decision of what I do. That is exciting.