THERE IS MORE

To keep believing that there is more than your dark places.

To know that even though it’s hard work, recovery feels better.

To let go of the bad days and not let them cling on to you once they have passed.

You are more, so much more than any thoughts that tell you otherwise.

In normal times, in times where you feel like yourself. Nothing special, you just feel like a version of you that you’re comfortable and calm with. That is the benchmark your mind likes. And that bench mark isn’t unachievable, because trust yourself, you can reach that point any day. It doesn’t go away.

Sadness, deep sad, the saddest of sad. It doesn’t have lasting power. No feeling has lasting power; not even sadness. You are more than your bad days. You are worth, worthy and incredible because you get through every bad day you encounter. You did your best. I know that on the toughest of days, getting through them and knowing the best I can do is breathe and be. It’s enough.

Perfect. I never believed I was perfect, never resonated with the ideals of ‘perfectionism’. Yet, I saw and felt when I had days of barely walking, feeling good or not being able to do my normal ortuine which provided security- I saw that as a weakness. ‘How could you not even do the bare minimum, Martha?’. Just the simple usually routine? What I felt was ‘easy to complete’ without thinking. That’s when I felt my version of perfect wasn’t being achieved. When I felt my safety blanket no longer something I could do, I felt I failed.

There is more to it than simply doing my usual routine without thinking. I am now so grateful for a day where I feel it is ‘normal’. In fact, I treat it like a ‘treat’ day. Wow, I did everything I wanted to do today, and I feel great?! That’s not perfectionism martha - thats having a day that makes you feel good. Do not make those days feel so highly in your mind that anything less than ‘routine' is considered a terrible day. A write off. A crap horrible bad, rubbish, annoying, dark day. It’s not.

There is more to yourself than having the days we idealise. To tick off everything we want on the to do list. So what you weren’t productive? So what you napped at 3pm and didn’t go for that run. LET YOURSELF GO.

There is more than the days we spend wrapped up in our duvet.

There is more than watching the rain represent our feelings and believe we won’t see sunshine again.

You are so much more than anything you believe will feel never ending. So much more.